By the time you read this thread, approximately 1000 other threads would have already analysed and reanalysed the reasons for our failure today on the cricket field.

However, in the hubris of battle a feat of immense importance would have gone unnoticed. I refer to a glorious Hat trick by a Pakistani today – No it wasn’t Gul or Akhtar or Afrid or Rao – it was me with a hat trick of delicious chicken biryanis – available in our stand and consumed in a bout of anxiety fuelled hunger at the magnificent Dubai Stadium.

There were good reasons for this anxiety and my match analysis will explain a lot of it – who knows, even you may head to the fridge to snack after reading this !

The Pak innings

We ( Ilyas, a friend of mine from Bahrain who decided to join me on this pilgrimage), arrived at the stadium – well ahead of time. We made our way through the throngs of Pakistani supporters, many dressed up in costumes, others carrying Pakistani flags and other props. A few Australian supporters also strolled by, dressed in their characteristic yellows and a trademark Kangaroo on their side – “not a chance” , I whispered to Ilyas and we had a good laugh.

Once in the stadium, the atmosphere was carnival like – even with the stands slowly filling up, you could sense that Dubaiwallas would be out in force to show support to their teams ( I say teams for political correctness as the only team to support in this town is Pakistan !) Against the strains of Bullay Shah, we tapped our feet and watched in awe and excitement as the Pakistani team executed drill after drill of superior fielding techniques – an aura of invincibility hung over them and we lapped it up.

In another corner of the stadium, the Aussies went about their drills like they had done before – but no one paid attention to them.

The toss happened and YK won it – you had to be there to see the relief on everyone’s faces – as if the toss was the game itself. The scene was set and the only victor in our minds was, well, Pakistan !

Strangely enough, in the post toss interview, YK proclaimed 200 as a good score on this pitch and that was that - A self fulfilling prophecy was put into motion.

Out strode the openers and I turned around to Ilyas, whose knowledge of cricket is rather limited, proudly announcing the arrival of the new batting prodigy, Shahzad – “watch this guy now”, I said – “he will show everyone what he is about!"

The innings began and he played a delectable clip for 4 – then Pakistani cricket went into one of its usual nosedives.

Shehzads comical run out and a few other near death experiences that Salman Butts partners had are part of history now. All I remember as a spectator is the sound of the whole stadium, shouting in unison to tell Shehzad to go back to his crease! The sight of both batsmen in one crease will always haunt me !

Sadly, that wasn’t the end of our torture but there was some comic relief, unfortunately at the expense of a hapless Malik. The ball ricocheted off Malik’s boots for a catch and we all held our breath as the case was referred to the 4th official. AS we aregued amongst ourselves about the possible outcome - up came the graphic on the big board – “Free Hit” it said. The Aussies held their heads in their hands, I finished off my first Biryani. We all knew that he was out but as good Pakistani fans, a let off for Malik would have been nice. Not to be as better sense prevailed and he was sent back!

What happened next is a little fuzzy in my mind – primarily as I would like to forget such traumatic events - but Afridis arrival on the crease was greeted with the usual roar – the crowd now building up nicely to the 23,568 number announced on the PA system ( apparently a new record but hang on, this was the 2nd match in this venue !)

Afridi played like what many of us would have wanted him to play. We should have been happy but we are Pakistani – we are perpetually unhappy with everything ! It wasn’t long before strains of “whats happened to Afridi” started to filter through to my ears from the audience – we are strange bunch of people, aren’t we ? Afridi did what he could but we were still short of the magical 200, forecast by YK.

In came Shoaib Akhtar and in came the snide remarks about his life, shape and everything - out went balls to the boundary ropes – and the mood changed. It was suddenly, “wah wah” Akhtar everywhere! As his innings started to take an Afridisque stature, it was brought to an end by a catch I will remember for a while. I had seen such catches on TV or youtube clips but I never knew what it is to see it live.

The ball was hit at speed and as we the crowd did our airplane engine imitation, the sound was cut-off in the middle as the ball never made it past the outstretched hands of the fielder…

The hitherto elusive target of 208 was attained – before the fun and games, known as running between the wickets by Pakistani batsmen finally ended this torturous innings.

Australia then began to inflict their version of Chinese torture on us poor Pakistani fans. It began with some near misses against Akhtar but mutated itself into some good old Pakistani fielding tricks (note that all the drills and training exhibited in the pre match warm up meant little or nothing) - singles were conceded where there were none and 2s where there were ones. Then there was a Umer Gul spill and some close run out chances.

To be fair, we bowled well but the runs were never enough to challenge Australia – especially with Symonds finally finding his feet on this tour. That man is Australia’s answer to Afridi and Pakistan will do well to find his weakness and start plugging away at it.

Umer Gul, Akhtar and Rao all did an admirable job but Malik as a spinner isn’t looking all that comfortable – Ajmal and Afrdi continued to do the good work where they left off.

To his credit, YK brought about changes but what he could not change was what many have seen before. As the Aussies closed in at 208 – Pakistani body language collapsed in a heap. Maybe it wasn’t visible on TV, but I can tell you that the drooping shoulders of our players were not hidden from us – in some ways, it was a surrender of sorts and some attitude correction maybe needed.

Celebs

Yes, well what type of report would this be without mention of the celebrities that came by today:#

1. Imran Khan – usual impressive self – was interviewed by TV

2. Javed Miandad – the memories of Sharjah came flooding back for many in the crowd

3. Imran Javed sat together and were surrounded by people with mobiles and various other devices – no security to be seen anywhere !

4. Clive Lloyd – serene,calm and laid back as ever

5. Ejaz Butt – what could be going through his mind watching a mindless self destruction by our batsmen? The man looks worried every time I see him.

6. The VIP set – dressed in their Sunday best many with little or no knowledge of the game but just being around made a statement of their social stature

The Crowd - people who really matter

In my view, the saddest thing is to see fans of any country streaming out of a stadium as their sides loss is imminent – this is what we saw today – a crowd of 20,000+ dwindled to a few hundred by the time the last ball was bowled.

These are usually working class people who don’t hang around Dubai’s humongous malls or drive fancy cars - they have limited entertainment and the sight of their team winning a match is what probably helps them escape from their tough lives. Alas, it was not to be but hats off to the thousands who made this journey to watch these games.

All good times come to an end

I consider it a privilege to have watched these 2 teams play over the last few days – I would have wanted Pakistan to win but I am equally happy that I saw a clinical display of professionalism by another team – something to remember.

I now head back to my home (and family) in Bahrain with a heavy heart, knowing fully well that if Pakistan don’t improve their fielding and some basic cricketing disciplines, the rest of the series may well be very one sided.

P.S. Hope you have enjoyed my contributions – I will post some excellent pics taken by Ilyas and myself later tonight.